hands free

It started on Friday as I was driving the kids to Sunsplash for a day of water slides and fun. I didn't think too much about a random question coming from the back seat spoken by my 7 year old daughter as we were stopped at the stop light and I was quickly checking something on my iPhone. The question was, "what would it be like to have no hands?" The light turned green, my phone made its way back into my purse and we began talking about what it would be like to not have any hands. The conversation didn't last any longer than a few minutes and then quickly moved on to another subject.

A few hours later as we were catching some waves in the wave pool I spotted a man several feet away who was missing both his hands. I casually pointed him out to my daughter and thought in my head how interesting it was that we were just having a conversation about that very thing. As we were driving home from the water park I mentioned to the boys what their sister and I saw. My oldest son made the comment that he saw the same man and also saw another child who was missing a hand. Later that same day we watched the opening ceremonies for the Olympics and there was a young child who was singing a solo and we all noticed that this child was missing a hand. At this point we all made note of how odd it was we had the conversation that morning and then had gone on to see people missing their hands.

The next morning I was driving home from dropping my middle son off at my parents house so he could help with a few chores when I passed by "Grandma's clock" as we call it. At the end of my parent's street is a bank and on top of the bank building is an over sized clock. Ever since the kids were little we have named it "Grandma's clock." I noticed that the clock looked different this time and that's when I realized that the clock was missing both hands! I giggled as I  thought how this was just weird, what's going on with this no hands stuff?

The following morning was church and as I opened up the notes function on my iPhone to type a few thoughts out from the sermon, it opened to the note where I had written down the name of a documentary a friend had told me about. She had told me about it just the previous week but I totally forgot about it. The name of the documentary, Gifted Hands. My friend had told me that its about a man who has no hands. I quickly showed the name of the documentary to my husband who was sitting next to me and we both shared a puzzled look. I had been telling him about all this "no hands" stuff for the few days prior. At communion time as I was praying I thought it might be a good idea to ask God if he was trying to show something through all these no hand references. In the past when God has had something to teach me, it has often times been met with the same message being sent to me in different ways but over and over again. I asked God to reveal it to me and teach me something from it if that is what He was trying to do. So I left it at that and tried my best to pay better attention to the rest of the church service.

We got home from church, turned on the TV (it's Olympics so our TV is getting a lot of viewing time) and guess what? Yep, there was a table tennis player who was missing a hand! I think I rolled my eyes this time because this was getting a little ridiculous. Anytime you want to explain this to me Lord, please do!

A few days later I had to make a quick run to the bank and as I was driving there I realized I forgot my iPhone. You know the feeling, it feels like your missing a piece of you, a feeling of vulnerability almost like your naked. Okay, maybe that's just me but I don't like to go anywhere without my phone, it's like a security blanket to me. As I was driving down Brown road realizing I didn't have my phone a light bulb went off and it was in that moment I realized exactly what these "no hands" references meant. The words "hands free mom" ringed through my head loud and clear and it was in that moment everything made sense. My jaw dropped to the floor of the car and time seemed to come to a standstill much like "Grandma's clock". Have you ever had those moments when all of a sudden without having to even think, you just get it. You see lately I've been spending a lot of time with my iPhone. I wake up in the morning and before my eyes have even adjusted to the morning light I'm holding my iPhone checking my email, checking the weather, seeing if anyone commented on my facebook status from the night before, you get the picture. 15 minutes later I realize I better start my day so my feet hit the floor and just like that I dive into my day. I get a text here and a text there. I text back. My kids have even nicknamed me the texting a queen, not something to be proud of. I run an errand and I'm that girl who will do a quick peak of my phone when stopped at a red light cause after all who needs to just sit there doing nothing. It's ridiculous, I know. And before I go to sleep at night, I do one last check of my phone cause you never know who may need to get a hold of me at 11:00 at night.

After I got home from the bank and was re-united with my iPhone, I spent the rest of the day thinking about all this and asking God what it would look like to be a hands free mom. Did it mean I needed to divorce my iPhone and never touch it again? Or just cut back, or be more present and not distracted by text messages and emails chiming in all throughout the day? I knew things needed to change, but how and what would it look like? I thought back to the start of all this and when my sweet 7 year old daughter asked what it would be like to not have hands, I immediately remembered something that happened right before that question came. She had told me how it's not safe to hold my phone while driving, even when stopped at a light. I remember saying how it was fine since I was stopped at the red light and it was just for a second (thinking back this was not my best teaching moment, I totally missed the mark there) and then a few seconds later the question came, "what would it be like to not have hands?" You see, I totally believe God spoke to me through my daughter at that moment. I believe it was God's way of saying that I am on my phone too much and I get distracted by it way too often and there are times when I miss being in the moment because of it not to mention the example I'm setting for our children, or lack there of. God used that moment and the days after to teach me an important lesson. I needed to let go of my iPhone more often and just let my hands be free.

So I made a few changes, instead of grabbing my phone first thing in the morning, it lays on my nightstand. I actually start my day praying before my feet hit the floor. I didn't even realize I was missing that time with the Lord until I got back into it. Believe me, communicating with God first thing in the morning is more fulfilling than reading email messages and checking facebook. When we are having family time or sitting down at night to watch the Olympics, my phone is not an active participant (have I mentioned how ready I am for the Olympics to be over, too many hours of watching TV every night until 11 is not healthy people!). Do you know how easy it is to tune the family out and be on my iPhone while watching TV or between turns when playing a game? Well it is, and I so don't need to multi-task like that. Another change I made is when I climb in bed at night, I don't need to do one last check of my phone before charging it for the night. It's much easier falling asleep without dreaming of facebook statuses and the last email I read. After all I have a handsome husband who sleeps next to me that is much more exciting than anything I will see on my iPhone. But what to do about those darn text messages that chime in througout the day? Well, I no longer need to stop what I'm doing when I hear a text message chime in. I've learned that it can wait, and if a response is needed, that can wait too, fancy that! I've learned that there are appropriate times throughout the day when I can hop on my phone, but I'm better aware of when those proper times are and when they are not standing in my way of my role of a mom or wife. I'm sure I still have a long ways to go, it's amazing how hard an iPhone holding habit can be to break but at least I'm on my way.

I guess from now on whenever I see someone missing a hand, it will be a great reminder that my hands (that I am blessed to have) don't need to be holding my iPhone so tightly. I'm thankful for having hands and I should use them more wisely and let them be free more often. My kids will thank me for it someday.