In the wee hours of the morning, I talk to God. My best days are when I wake up with Him already on my mind. It's sort of my personal gauge on where I am at in my relationship with Him. During those times when I've been actively studying His Word and communicating with Him, He's right there on the forefront of my mind as my sleepy eyes wake to a new day. But then there are times when I wake up and I'm thinking about my to do list or a current worry, and He's nowhere to be found in my thoughts. Let's just say the days that start with Jesus on my mind are much better than the days when He's an afterthought.
This morning was one of those mornings where I felt God's presence as I was waking up. I began to pray and my thoughts wandered to what it would be like to be in the physical presence of Jesus. I understand that Jesus is always with me, He's everywhere, His glory is seen in so many places, but He's not in physical form where my eyes can see Him and where my hand can reach out and touch Him. I know the day will come (hopefully when I'm old and well along in years) when I will be in His physical presence in Heaven and I will be standing in front of Him face to face. I often wonder what that will be like. As I lay in bed this morning my mind was flooded with questions.
When I'm in the physical presence of Jesus, will I get to touch Him?
Will He touch me?
Will He take me by the hand and go on a walk with me?
Will He pat the top of my head or give me a pat on my back?
Will He invite me to sit on His lap?
OR
Will I be in such reverence of Him that I will just bow at His feet and sit there?
Will I even be allowed to touch Him, to sit on His lap, to take a walk with Him? Afterall He is the King of the World, the Creator of all things, the One and Only Savior.
Will He stay seated on His throne at the Right Hand of God and be unable to reach out and touch me?
Would I even be allowed to get on the throne with Him and sit on my Father's lap?
I want to believe that when I'm in the physical presence of Jesus I can do all these things. But then again maybe I will bow down and not even be able to get past His radiance, be so astounded by His glory that I'm unable to go beyond that.
So I thought about this a little further and the Jesus I know that meets me in my thoughts in the wee hours of the morning has always been so full of love, so intimate, so kind, so tender, so into ME. Afterall, He created me therefore he knows every single thing about me. He tells me this in Psalm 139.
You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
As all these questions were running through my head, I thought back to what I've learned about Jesus through studying His word. Jesus did touch people in the Bible, a lot. He brought healing through touch. He washed all of his disciples' feet, that's 12 pairs of feet that His hands touched. He brought the little children to sit on His lap and blessed them. He grabbed a young boy by his hand and pulled him up of the ground after He cast out a demon from his body. He took an elderly woman by her hand to pull her out of bed as she lay sick with fever, one touch and the fever left her body. He allowed others to touch Him. Mary washed Jesus feet and wiped them with her hair. He even invited His disciples to touch the wounds on His hands and His side after He died on the cross and rose again so that they would believe it truly was Him. One of my favorite stories in the Bible was the time when a young woman who had suffered from bleeding for many years reached out in a crowd to touch Jesus, she was only able to grab the hem of His robe but He took notice, He felt it. As soon as she touched Him He said, "who touched me, I felt power go out of me?" And then the only time in the Bible Jesus ever referred to someone as "my daughter" was at that moment when He spoke to her. Not only was she healed, but Jesus made a big deal of her touching Him, He called her daughter, He loved her, He healed her! I can't think of a time in the Bible when Jesus refused to touch someone or didn't allow someone to touch Him. Jesus is a God of touch, He just has to be. He is relational, that's what He is all about. How can you have a relationship without touch, it just doesn't exist.
I do believe when I meet Jesus face to face I will finally get to touch Him and have Him touch me. I do believe I will get to walk hand in hand with Him on a walk, and I'm pretty sure He will even pull me onto His lap and allow me to look at Him face to face. And maybe, just maybe, He will be playful and take me by both my hands and spin me around real fast to where my feet leave the ground and then I will fall onto the most softest, greenest grass my eyes have ever seen and laugh with my Savior as the sky spins in circles because of my dizzy eyes. And who knows, maybe He likes to dance and will take me by my hand and dance with me. Can you imagine! What a glorious day that will be!
Until that day comes, I will enjoy my mornings with Jesus as I wake up and bask in His spiritual presence dreaming of the day when I can see Him and touch Him and be touched by Him.
Psalm 139:5 "You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me."
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