I had a realization today....

that dawned on me as I was eating snowcones with my kids after we swam. But first let me allow you into my thought process that was going on in my head before I had my realization or "ah-ha" moment. We, as in the kids and I, had just finished swimming and our newest summer tradition has been to eat snowcones after we swim. I love our snowcone machine, there is nothing better than a snowcone on a hot summer day and today it's a hot one! So as we were sitting on the front porch eating I was thinking how I have been with my kids 24-7 for many days now. I started going down the bunny trail of feeling bad for myself. It went something like this:

so far today I made the kids breakfast, I took them to our Harkin's summer movies, we got home and I made them lunch, then I helped them make a big fort that took up the whole living room, then we went swimming together where I am a magnet and my kids get stuck on me in the pool like I am some play thing, then I made snowcones and we ate them together and after that there were plans to color and play games and I felt like screaming out, "Can mom just have some alone time for just a few minutes, or hours is more like it, PLEASE!!!!!!"

But then my "ah-ha" moment came just like that. I was thinking how in reality I only have them under my roof for probably about 18 to 20 years(ish) each. Son #1 was born in 1998 and by the time child #3 is 18 years old it will be 2023, which is a total of 25 years of parenting while they are under my roof. I understand that parenting continues as the kids move out, but the dynamics and demands upon the mother certainly change. So if I live until I am 100, that is only one quarter of my life, as in 1/4 that I actually have them here at home. 100 might be a stretch but I do have a grandma who is just now in the process of dying and she is 98. So let's just say I live into my late 80's, that's still just a third of my life spent with my kids under my roof, which means more of my life is spent doing other things. When I thought of it that way it made me realize that the time I have them here is really just a small portion of all the other years of my life. It really put things into perspective for me. And that changed my whole attitude in an instant. So we happily finished our snowcones and then I spent time coloring with Anna, and then we watched a show together, and then it was time to make dinner, which we did together. Did I mention I have an 11 year old, 9 year old, and 5 year old? That means I'm well on my way into my parenting time and the way time flies, I know it will feel like tomorrow when our last child leaves our home. So these days I will treasure and be thankful because we won't always be eating snowcones on the front porch after a swim so I can have an "ah-ha" moment. And I will make a disclaimer, I am not in any way underestimating the importance of time to myself. Time to myself is my saving grace and I am lucky enough to have a husband who gives me those breaks when I need them. I'm probably due for my next one, so I'll work on that but in the mean time I am thankful for days like today when I pour out to my kids and spend every waking moment with them! I sure do love them, a whole bunch!!!!!!